lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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