what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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