My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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