Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
