What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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