So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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