Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
