So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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