I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
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Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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