Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
