yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
