I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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