i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
