it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
