You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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