??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
time to smoke my breakfast
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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