Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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