how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
