It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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