Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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