On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
ttyl tear gas
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
