She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
