Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
