Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
