I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
