Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize