I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
