i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize
