I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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