if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
