woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
They are going to name an STD after you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
