dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
