he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize