sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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