At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
