My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
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He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
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The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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