I hate your face
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
