We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
