go do what you do best...puke behind churches
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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