You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
