if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
