Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize