I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
