I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize