My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
