I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he just fucked me for my cheese.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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