So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize