I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
