I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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