Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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