so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
