This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize