remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
