Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
