Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
