What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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