Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
