im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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