I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
