I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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