THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
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I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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