I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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