Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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