I wish I could teleport
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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