It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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