Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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